Just cropdusted the office
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize