drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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