Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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