I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize