Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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