Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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