I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
