Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
