I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
