fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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