I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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