Just look for the house with the beer knights.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
