hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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