You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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