i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
