I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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