why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
