just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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