my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
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