well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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