I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize
