I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize