If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
