My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
