It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
