I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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