So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize