that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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