we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
