your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
