GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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