So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
