I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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