so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
