I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize