Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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