So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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