Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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