you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
