I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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