We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
