fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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