dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
