Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
