i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
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