They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize