11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
