Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
