So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
