My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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