did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize