I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
