I think im going to throw up on grandma
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
