I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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