that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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