Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
