Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
True college students do jello shots in the library
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize