yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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