This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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