Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize