All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
